detox

There is so much darkness arising in the world - I cannot say that I pay much attention to headlines or politics, but I am not entirely ignorant of the things that are happening in my country. In the midst of everything happening around me, I have found myself wandering in the afternoon and getting lost in thoughts of things I haven't lit on for almost a year. I have lost - and found - myself so many times over the years, and it is time I regain that connection with myself.

It was the dry season on the central coast of California when my mother packed the car up and took me down the coast to Big Sur - crashing waves to the west and the sound of the waterfall thundering to the east filled my ears and the promise of exploring one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen excited me. Our hike was steep and difficult for my small body, but being with my mother out in nature fuelled the experience. Once at the top of the hill that we had challenged ourselves with climbing, I looked out over... clouds. There was a sea of white and grey clouds stretching out forever before me, and I could see nothing below them. We were so high in the hills that the world was wrapped in the foggy blanket.

I felt alive, on top of that hill. I felt complete. I felt all of the energy of the world held within the cradle of the cliffs and ocean that I knew was below us. I felt the divine energy of the universe around me. I was surrounded by the dry, golden grass that grew on the hill - but, even though the life seemed to have been taken away from the ground, I knew that it was still there. I felt the heartbeat of the land, the breath of the wind whispering and speaking wisdom to my young soul.

My mother's lessons on the divine were simple back then - spending time in nature was how she taught me about spirituality. They were profound lessons, and I will never forget any of them because of their simplicity. I knew that I was connected to the world around me, and I knew the truth that my soul spoke.

I have often wondered where (and when) the disconnect between who I am now, and who I was then, occurred. It has always saddened me that I am this cynical, unbelieving adult when I was such a free-spirited child. During a recent meditation to find the answer to those exact questions, I learned the answer.

Once my mother had started teaching me about the divine, I began paying attention to those around me and their beliefs - I wanted to learn as much as I could about this connection I had with the energy around us. During Sunday school (my mother was very open and supportive of my learning about different belief systems), I let slip my experiences with the divine. When asked what belief system we practised at home, I was honest with the teacher and told her that my mother was a Witch (my mother's label for herself). I was shunned and attacked for this, and began to believe that my personal experiences with the divine were wrong. It was a painful experience to have at such a young age, to be taught not to listen to my soul, to the wind and the waves and singing of thunder on the horizon. Everything that had once been so familiar to me was beginning to darken, to appear false. Since that day, in Sunday school, I have struggled with my soul, with my connection to the divine. I have fought against the pull on my heart to dance in the rain and sing songs to flowers.

It is time for me to reclaim myself, my soul - to relearn how to listen to myself and reconnect with the energy of the universe, with the divine. I am terrified that, once I open myself, I will no longer know what is what in my life. I am terrified of the changes that I know this process will bring about, but at the same time, I am ready to come home to my soul. I have missed the connection I once had to the divine.

The women on my mother's side taught me to trust my intuition, to listen to my soul - my soul has always known what is right. From a young age, a curiosity for the unknown was fostered in me, and I am working on bringing those magical aspects back into my life. It is the little things, the simple things - like a single tree blooming when the breeze still chills the bones, bringing the inspiration of Spring to the world despite Winter's desire to keep the land prisoner.

confusion

This time of year in the desert is always a confusing time--the days are getting longer, the sun rising earlier and setting later, but the air still holds the bite of Winter and the threat of at least one more Winter Storm looms on the horizon. The mountains are still covered in white and grey patches of snow and rocks, yet the bees are out searching for flowers and the sun is almost too warm on my skin.

I recently started feeling restless; I've needed to get out of the house and breathe in fresh air and see something other than my living room--we went for a walk this evening, just before sunset, and at first we stopped at a small rest area on the side of the road near our home, and I let my children run around and play. They were not entirely enthused with the idea of not having a playground to climb on, so we continued on down the street to an actual park where they could run and jump and climb and swing. I sat on the swingset for a while they exerted their energy, and I truly enjoyed having a moment of calm even though their laughter and squeals were rather loud.

I always forget how peaceful just taking a moment outside really is. During the Winter months, I tend to stay inside--not because I dislike the cold, but because I am usually sick during my favourite time of year, which is rather unfortunate. Even though both kids have been sick recently, I knew that getting out of the house and running and playing would be a good thing for them.

 I am ready for the breath of life that Spring brings to this dry and tired space, but I dread the loss of cool breezes and tolerable days that the returning sun promises. My health suffers in the Summer just as much as it does in the Winter but in different ways. I miss the year-round cool mornings and comfortable days of being on the coast, and the fog--oh the glorious fog.

I am looking forward to future opportunities to capture the growth and life of this place--I do love the desert, it has a special draw to it, a magic that is completely different from the magic that the sea holds, or the forests and mountains. It is primal, animalistic, merciless in its vastness. I hope to capture that fierceness in the coming months.

the witches of marble falls

Magic has always held tightly to my hand and inspired me. My spirituality is one of my muses, and I have always dreamt of writing something that deals deeply with the ancient roots of my soul. Deep forests, thundering waterfalls, long, silent roads--these are some of the places in which I find a connection with the Magic I was raised with. 

Synopsis: Nestled off the highway within trees, on the banks of a lake covered in fog and surrounded by mountains capped in white, rests the small town of Marble Falls. The Wakefield siblings--Emilia and Valerie and Daphne and Hayden--are sent to live with their aunts Agatha and Kittie after their parents are killed in a hit and run. Confused about their mother's fear of the town and inspired by their aunts' strange abilities, Emilia and Valerie dive into the towns rich history of Witchcraft and find that some questions are best left unanswered.

This ebook started as a completely different tale, but after finishing that manuscript I chose to take the tale in a different direction. I am so in love with the setting of this novella--Marble Falls is a fictional town I created, presumably in Montana near the southern border of the state. I pulled inspiration from numerous images and memories of beautiful lakes surrounded by mountains and forests. 

Your support is so amazing, and I am grateful that so many people encourage me and my writing. Thank you all for sticking beside me, even when I am moody and difficult and dark. 

I hope that any who visit and enjoy my words are inspired to share the publication of this project. <3

Here is the Pinterest board for the project, and here is the Goodreads page.

On the surface, this tale is simple--coming of age and finding our place in the world, but that isn't all that this story reveals in its pages. It touches on the concept that without the darkness, there would be no light and whether we like it or not, hard decisions need to be made, and there is always a reason as to why someone would choose to stray from a positive path.

When collecting these tales, please remember to state the title you wish you have.